When Your Mind Wanders

In a society of a quick fix and instant gratification, I can’t help but wonder if this is the cause of my demise and bad decisions.

 I regrettably admit that I am a free spirit.  I always want to follow my heart, even when my head tells me, “don’t do it.”  My head always says, “I told you so…”

 I always look for the good in people, no matter how many times they’ve hurt me; and I have the glimmer of hope that they will one day have the best of intentions – even when the obvious glare of hurt and failure outshine any glimmer that could possibly exist.

I am always looking for an out – whether it be a new career, a new look, a new location to reside – a change of pace, and a change of scenery…I am hiding from my own demons.

I fully believe with all of my heart that fairy-tale romance exists in real life; even though I don’t know anyone who’s found it and had it last for more than 2 weeks…I won’t give that up.

I trust rarely – I can quickly count the people I trust with my secrets or my best interest. 

My heart hurts often, and I’m not quite sure why – my life appears in perfect order.

I can’t make my own decisions – I’m scared it will be the wrong one.  I guess there’s no way to really find out -

♥

Dreams and Goals – Can You Have Too Many?

 I’ve spent my whole life indecisive.  Where do you want to eat?  I don’t know.  What do you want for your birthday?  Name one thing, are you kidding me?  Which pair of shoes do you like better?  I want both.

When I read, “Allow your dreams  a place in your prayers and plans,” a partial excerpt on my quote of the day calendar, I thought, how is that possible?  I couldn’t even pick a major in college. 

Yes, yes, I know – everyone goes through that.  But I’ve never stopped; it began with Advertising/PR, Broadcast Journalism, Fashion Merchandising, then a break.  Now what?  It started again, and ended with an Accounting degree.  Mid-business school, I wanted to go to cosmetology school and momentarily, culinary school.  Obviously, my wants were all over the board. 

In a perfect world, I’d be able to be a hair stylist (and the owner of my spa/salon), a journalist, a pastry chef, and a CPA – in that order.  However, I am less than halfway towards my CPA and the others are so far off in my life plan that I often fear I won’t be able to experience anything else. 

My question is, how do you allow your dreams a place when there are just too many?  Can you have too many dreams?  Which dreams should you put first?  Should it be the ones you’re closest to achieving, or should it be the ones that would make you the happiest?

In the meantime I will do what I do, take it one day at a time, and hope that in time I can fulfill my dream(s) -

You Already Have All You Need (but I want more)

A partial excerpt from the quote of the day, “…you already have all you need.”  Do I, really?

 I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.  I have always wished I were craving something less; living a simple life with simple things – it just isn’t in me. 

From a young age I have always wanted more – more toys.  As I matured it turned into more clothes, more accessories, more purses, more shoes…and it progresses into more spa treatments, more trips to Vegas, more nice dinners; when does it end?

Is it wrong to enjoy the amenities in life?  At times, I feel guilty…but I have learned to push guilt under the rug.  I feel that if my wants are within reason (which varies from person to person) then its OK.

Maybe one day I will throw all of my fabulous goods in the garage sale pile, quit reading my US Weekly and comparing myself to Posh Spice, and stop daydreaming the that paparazzi are outside in my front yard waiting for me to leave the house.  Maybe.  However, I find it highly unlikely.