A mutual friend says to me, “*John has a crush on you.” I was baffled, I never picked up that vibe. She suggested we ‘hang out’ because he was funny. I thought, what the hell, I could use a chuckle!
She proceeded to initiate conversation between us, and that’s when it started. We had agreed to go rock climbing the following week. A little apprehensive, I warned him I was lacking in regular physical activity — I wish I could speak on the contrary. He warned me that his car was in the shop and I joked that I could sit on his handle bars…apparently his pedal was broken as well. This should be interesting.
Three days prior to our casual ‘date’ I was craving a particular Italian restaurant and invited him to join in. He was delighted and said, “I may need a ride. And by I may need a ride, I need a ride.” (Insert laugh here). I picked him up and we went to dinner – it was good company (aside from his regular texting, which for some reason I was trying NOT to do).
Dinner ceases and the bill arrived and the awkward moment began. I didn’t at all expect him to pay for my meal, as we were previous acquaintances and I had invited him on what was NOT a date. After a minute or so, I reached for the book. I glanced over it to check the bill and mentally figure my portion and set my card down. Now, during this time he didn’t bother reaching for his wallet or inquiring about the bill.
He paused, looked at me and said, “Are you paying?”
Taken aback by his assumption I didn’t know what to say. We weren’t close enough where I felt I could tell him, “Are you crazy? Hell no.” So I just mumbled, “I guess so.”
He smiled and said, “Well thank you!”
I sat there in disbelief and thought to myself, surely he will offer to tip. Nope. Nothing. Nil.
What the hell just happened? In that moment I thought to myself, ‘Did I just pick you up…pay for your dinner…and your beer…and now I have to give you a ride home? How did you pull this off? I work two jobs. I am a single mother. How in the HELL did you finagle this?’
Thank you mutual friend. You owe me $60.
PS I’m quite sure that in three days I am going to have the flu.